


Doors

by deo-agent (WillowRoseBrook)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Eventual relationship, F/M, Friendship, On the Run, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6559237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowRoseBrook/pseuds/deo-agent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no one she’d rather have on this mission with her. That was still all she could admit it was. Not only because of his skill and experience, but because she genuinely enjoyed his company. He enjoyed hers, too.</p><p>Follows Hank/J'onn and Alex as they're on the run towards Project Cadmus. Follows cannon, except that I've stretched the timeline a bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            The first night was the worst. They were both exhausted, drained, shaken. They had to run, get as far away from National City as they could before the sun rose and a pack of wolves was on their trail.

            Alex was not Alex. She was cold and numb, just as much machine as the vehicle she was riding on. Only her subconscious was in control. Every now and then, she’d glance over her shoulder at Hank. His face was steely, strong. Like always.

            Alex focused her eyes on the road, a black blur reaching ever off into the distance. It was not a night to think, or feel. Her father was alive. She treated the fact like a mission, catalogued it in the back of her mind. She kept her face steely, strong. Like always.

            Eventually, Hank gave the signal to stop. She did without question. They crashed for a few hours in the woods, too exhausted to find any place better than the forest floor to sleep. They didn’t talk. They slept, three feet apart, one eye open, always ready to run.

            Alex woke up stiff and sore. Hank was already awake. He sat leaning against a tree, his eyes focused on her.

            “We have to go.”

            Alex only nodded. They ate quickly, soldiers’ rations from bags that weren’t their own. Just before they climbed back onto the bikes, Alex reached for Hank’s forearm.

            “J’onn,” she murmured. “Thank you.”

            Hank simply nodded, placing his right hand over Alex’s own.

            “Let’s go.”

            They abandoned the bikes before the sun was high. Hank slipped into several stores, posing as a different person each time. Alex donned her disguise, feeling more like a kid playing dress up than the practiced agent that she was. She looked in the mirror, fingered the brim of her hat.

            They still didn’t talk much. They didn’t need small talk to pass the time. Alex bought the bus tickets, Hank clinging to her leg as a little blond child. Alex kept calm, like she always did. She let herself relax a little on the bus, the words _just another mission_ playing on repeat in her mind. Hank fell asleep on her arm and she let herself smile.

            Alex didn’t know if it was all part of the act, but she did know that she would tease him mercilessly about it later on. She ruffled his hair, almost loving the reversal of roles, if just for a moment.

            Hank woke up. Their eyes didn’t meet. The bus was stopped twice, and each time he clung to her. The second time, when the officer looked Alex dead in the eye, she felt his fingernails dig into her arm. Alex didn’t move.

            They got off the bus in a suburb of the next major city. Checked into a hotel. Hank hung from the counter while Alex registered as Sequoyah Martin. She was given the room key without hassle, and took Hank’s hand to lead him up the stairs. If she had been less tired, less miserable, she may have taken delight in dragging her boss around as a seven year old, but she was tired, and was miserable. She took only a little glee in it.

            The moment the door was locked, Hank became Hank again and their eyes met. She smiled a little. Hank chuckled. Soon, they were both laughing, and Alex collapsed on the bed.

            “You’d better not tell anyone about this,” he warned. “Ever.”

            “You make a pretty convincing kid,” Alex shot back. They laughed for a few moments more, then faded back into silence. Hank went into the bathroom, came back out, sat down on the chair. Alex had taken off the costume and was staring at the ceiling. She drummed her fingers against the bed.

            Hank was watching her; she could feel the weight of his gaze. She kept her eyes trained to the ceiling, remaining calm like the white pattern, cool like the white pattern, blank like the white pattern.

            “You’ve been very professional,” he said, very gently. It was an urge for her to open up, now that they were in private.

            Alex was always professional. She was an expert, and dedicated to her job. But somehow, in the past year, she and Hank had taken a step beyond their strictly professional relationship. Still only business in the office or in the field. But sometimes, when they were alone, they were something more. There was a bond between them, a shared affection. Neither would ever admit it out loud, but it was there.

            There was no one she’d rather have on this mission with her, because that’s still all she could admit that this was. Not only because of his skill and experience, but because she genuinely enjoyed his company. He enjoyed hers, too.

            She stayed silent for a moment. Then took a breath, tried to relax, let the weight of their situation finally crash down on her.

            She could hardly breathe.

            “Do you think he’s actually still alive?” she finally whispered. Hank got up and took a seat by her on the bed.

            “I just don’t know.”

            His hand reached out and landed comfortingly on her arm, the same gesture she’d given him that morning.

            Finally, Alex let herself break. She curled into Hank’s body, tears streaming down her face. He held her and rubbed her back, and three months ago she’d have been embarrassed, but not today. She gathered herself, rolled onto her back to face him. Hank was staring off into the distance.

            “Alex,” he said softly. “Who would you rather have here with you? Hank Henshaw, or J’onn J’onzz?”

            “You,” she said without pause.

            The look that crossed his face wasn’t one she’d seen before. It was soft, all barriers dropped. After a moment, he let out a sigh, and shifted to his true form. He eyed her critically, still leaning partially into his lap. She met his gaze evenly.

            Behind locked doors, he could be something else. They could be something else.

            “We should get some sleep,” he said. It was five in the afternoon, but Alex didn’t object. She rolled off the bed, then slipped back in under the blankets. Hank stayed sitting for a few silent moments before Alex called to him.

            “You need to sleep too.”

            His gaze remained fixed on her as he slipped under the blanket, moving slowly. When he was finally settled, Alex rolled onto her side, facing away from him and tucked the blanket over her shoulder.

            “Night,” she said. A pause.

            “G’night, Alex,” he murmured.


	2. Chapter 2

Hank shook Alex awake at two a.m. She was in a groggy fog for a moment, the room slowly coming into focus. The only light came from the bedside table. Hank leaned back against the headboard, his eyes bleary with sleep. Alex yawned, propping herself up on her elbows.

            “You think it would seem suspicious if we left in a couple hours?”

            “Probably not. Why?” Alex wasn’t particularly eager to stay in the motel any longer than they had to, but she also wasn’t the biggest fan of unnecessary three a.m. escapades.

            “They’ll know we’re out of National City by now. It’s best to keep going.”

            “Yeah,” said Alex.

            The night was heavy, and dead silent.

            “Can we stop at my mom’s?”

            Hank turned his head, looked at her inquisitively. Then his gaze softened.

            “Sure. It won’t be too far out of the way.”

            Alex nodded briskly and pulled herself out of the bed.

            “I’m showering first,” she called, disappearing into the bathroom.

            Hank was still sitting in the bed when Alex exited the bathroom, in the process of tying up her hair. He was Hank again, although other than that he looked like he hadn’t moved. Upon her appearance, he stood up with a heavy sigh and began to gather his things.

            “Wasn’t it strange, waking up next to an alien?” he asked in an off-handed sort of way.

            “What’s strange,” said Alex, pinning her wig in place, “Is almost being consumed by a carnivorous tree-looking one.”

            At her recollection of a previous mission, Hank gave a curt nod. Alex slung her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. She turned the handle, propping it open an inch.

            Hank looked at her sharply and began the process of changing into her son.

            The door locked again with a click.

            “We’ve got to be careful today,” she said, feeling like she needed to say something.

            Hank, as Hank, gave her a half grin.

            “Don’t worry. I’ll hold your hand.”

            And then he was three feet tall and blond again, and the door was opened and they stepped out into the hall. The door closed behind them with a decisive click.

            They walked down to the lobby with soft, padded steps, whispering a hushed “Goodbye, thanks!” to the red-eye clerk on duty. They stepped out into the town, still dark as night, and Hank took her hand, pulled her resolutely to the left.

            The pair was on a metro train by 4:30, their only companions an exhausted looking woman and a man whose eyes were opened far too wide for the hour. From the city, they boarded another bus. Soon they were chugging their way east as the sun rose in the sky.

            They ate the last of what they had taken, and Alex nervously counted the bills left in the pocket of her stashed black jacket. She had a card, but it was linked to the DEO. They’d be tracked in a moment.

            They could pick up more food at her mother’s. Get a map and a plan set in a place they knew would be safe.

            Alex was antsy. She had hours to sit and think, but she kept it to a shallow minimum.

           What was it with superpowered aliens and capes? They couldn’t serve any real purpose.

            She tried not to think about the future, what would come next now that she was a fugitive and no longer an agent of the government. She tried not to think about the blond child sitting next to her, and how much he mattered. How she didn’t regret a word that left her mouth, didn’t regret getting dragged off to prison, certain painful death, by his side.

            She was an agent on a mission. Find Project Cadmus. Save her dad.

            Save J'onn, too.

            It was almost dark again by the time they reached her mom’s house. Alex used the key underneath the flowerpot to let herself in. She almost cried when she saw her mother. Wanted to fall into her arms and go back to the time when she was a little child, when her father had been safe at home and her mother hadn’t had those tired lines on her face. A time, even, before Kara.

            But Alex was a professional and distracted herself from the moment, immediately seeking out her proposed purpose in coming here. She had a hand around a can of spinach when Eliza dropped the news.

            Her heart ripped in two. Kara, her father. Hank, the city. But she knew there wasn’t a real choice. She knew there wasn’t a choice when her mother lead Hank to the kitchen, expecting her to return to her childhood bedroom and get a good night’s rest. Knew there wasn’t a choice when Hank said no, his eyes filled with passion and the need to protect and something else.

            Alex wasn’t going to say goodbye. She faced him boldly, her only regret as she stepped out the door that Eliza still didn’t know her husband was alive.

            It was something she could live with. Hank turned to face her.

            “It’s going to take six hours to get there, even flying,” he said. “Let’s go as far as we can and then rest for the night.”

            She almost said no, almost said take me there right now. But his eyes were exhausted and her own feet were heavy.

            “How do we fly?” she asked instead. Hank smiled.

            “Like this.”

            His arm was around her waist and they were off the ground quicker than Alex was able to process the thought. She clung to his shoulder, exhaustion forgotten at the sight of her childhood home, the roof where she’d watched the stars, twenty feet beneath her.

            “Don’t drop me, J’onn” she warned, and with the look he gave her, her fear was forgotten, and she was laughing instead. It was exhilarating and it made Alex regret all the times she’d turned Kara down. Hank’s arm wrapped tight around her middle was the only safety harness she could ever need. She had no concept of time in the air. It could have been twelve minutes or three hours before Hank set her on the ground again, her legs shaky under the influence of gravity once more.

            “We have to try to sleep,” he told her. “You’re not going to be any use to Kara tonight.” Alex bit her lip but didn’t protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post this as a short chapter tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow to finish what's going to be chapter three. Hope you enjoy. Won't have to wait too long before the next part!


	3. Chapter 3

“You’re not going to leave me in the middle of the night,” Alex warned him as they found themselves behind another locked motel room door. “You’re not going to fly off and leave me behind to protect me or to fulfill a promise to Jeremiah or anyone else.”

            “No,” he said, shaking his head, still with a smile. “No, Alex. I know you won’t stop fighting. You’ll be safest if you’re doing it with me.” He collapsed on the bed and Alex flopped down beside him. The feeling of a bed was heavenly, and her sore muscles began to quiet their protests.

They were lying on their backs, sprawled out, inches apart.

            “You’re a little safer with me, too,” she teased. Hank’s breath caught, in laughter or something else.

            “As long as they don’t know you’re my biggest weakness.”

Alex swallowed, unsure what to say, unsure how to read the affection in his voice. She extended a hand to the place in between them. Found his—large and bony, and nothing like a human hand. Gave it a squeeze. She heard him draw in a breath, and trained her eyes back to the ceiling. She brought her hand back to her side.

She had to sleep. Stopping was useless, she reminded herself, if they didn’t sleep. Her mind itched to be on the road again, to be landing a fist into Non’s throat, showing the world what happened when it tried to hurt her sister. Her body, on the other hand, was limp and exhausted, already in a dream world.

Hank was so still, so silent.

“J’onn,” Alex murmured finally. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

Silence. She stared harder at the ceiling, trying to force her mind to sleep. She knew Hank could do that, if he tried. Fifteen minutes passed.

“J’onn,” she repeated, giving up. “If you’re okay with it....could we practice the telepathy now? I want to make sure it works before we’re in the moment.”

She heard Hank shift. He took a moment to respond.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He didn’t move, and Alex rolled to her side, propped herself up on her arm.

“Does it bother you when I call you J’onn?” That brought an almost sad smile to his lips.

“Not at all.” He unfolded his hands from his chest. “I like it,” he admitted quietly. A moment later, he rolled onto his side too, finally facing her. His eyes looked pained, and Alex shook her head.

“J’onn—“ He reached a hand out and brought a finger to her lips, shushing her. He drew it back, his face shifting to the look he used when he trained her. Alex still looked at him, mystified.

“For this to work, I’m going to have to be in your mind.” His voice was still soft, but carried a warning. “I’m not going to go looking, but I’m going to have access to your thoughts, your memories, your emotions.”

“I trust you,” she said simply. And she did. With her life.

“Right.” He cleared his throat and leaned forward. He paused.

“I’m going to have to touch you,” he warned. At that, Alex rolled her eyes. How many hours a week did they spend training? They’d shared a bed the past three nights. _She_ wasn’t going to make this awkward.

This was about business.

“Right,” he said again, and this time he brought his hands up to her face to cup her cheeks. Their faces were inches away, eyes staring deep into the other’s soul. Alex’s breath caught, and she blinked. They were going to have to get a lot closer than this before it was all over. Was she really okay with having him inside her mind?

She had to be, for Kara and the city’s sake. For the world. But what if he wasn’t okay with what he found there?

God, _Alex_ wasn’t okay with what she found there _._

“Alex,” Hank murmured, “breathe with me.”

She did, and in a moment there was a gentle pushing against her mind. Alex relaxed on instinct, because this was Hank. Hank, with his hands so gently placed against her. Hank, in her mind.

After a moment, she could feel him there, a presence, enveloping her consciousness.

“Thought that would hurt,” she said aloud, from what she’d seen of this so far.

“You weren’t resisting,” he said quietly. “ _At all.”_ There was a little awe in his voice, and Alex couldn’t help but shudder.

 _Alex,_ he said quickly. Her eyes snapped open at that, his voice in her mind. Hank’s drifted closed.

_Alex. This is going to be most effective if it’s a mutual bond._

“Hm?”

 _Try like this_ , he encouraged, shifting his body closer. And everything seemed to slip away between them. It felt beautiful, and pure, not like business or sacrilege. _It’s going to work best if you’re in my mind too._

 _How?_ she managed, and it took all of her concentration. He was pleased with her success.

 _Oh, Alex._ His hands shifted against her face, almost stroking.

She could feel their minds meet. Saw Mars swirl around her, saw a jungle, and a desert, felt anger, felt love. She was drowning in images, in thoughts, in time. She felt him pull back.

_Woah there. Slow down a little._

Alex wasn’t aware of any conscious effort on her part, but nodded in acquiescence. He shifted back in.

“Good,” he murmured. “There we are, Alex.”

Alex opened her eyes, which had somewhere, at some point, drifted shut.

She could feel him there, and it was strange, but it wasn’t bad. Hank’s eyes opened too.

“Let’s make sure that we can keep this up at a further range.” He rose from the bed, letting his hands fall from Alex’s temples. She felt the bond shudder.

“Stand up,” he commanded.

Once they were standing on opposite ends of the room, it felt a little less intimate, a little more like a training exercise.

Because, God, it was intimate, more intimate than anything she’d ever done in her life. He was deep within her mind. And somehow, this centuries old alien trusted her enough to let her in his.

For the mission. All for the mission.

“Try moving around a bit,” Hank called. Alex started off by walking, and then jumping, glad they were on the first floor of the motel.

“Test my concentration,” said Hank, and Alex quickly banished her first temptation to the darkest corner of her mind. “Hit me.”

With a skeptical glance, Alex launched herself forward. Hank easily blocked her first hit, but she managed to land a blow to his stomach. She stepped back, panting.

“I think it’ll work.” He sounded amazed.

“Thank you,” said Alex, well aware of how much he struggled with using his powers.

Hank merely nodded. They made their way back to the bed slowly. Alex couldn’t stop looking at him.

 _Are we still connecte?_ she tried pushing through the link.

“Mhmm,” Hank said aloud, taking a seat on the bed. “Do you want me to dissolve the link?”

Alex shook her head, taking a seat beside him.

“How does this feel to you?” she wondered, tilting her head. “What did telepathy mean in Martian culture?” He looked at her, eyes searching, then turned away.

“Doesn’t matter. Martian culture is gone.”

He turned away. She could sense his turmoil through the bond. Something shimmered through it all, and it made her press.

“J’onn. I don’t…” She took a breath. _J’onn. I… You probably don’t want to talk about it._

_No_

_If you do…_ thought Alex. _If you do…._

_I know._

J’onn got to his feet, circled to the other side of the bed, and climbed in. Alex swung her feet up and did the same. Staring at the ceiling was becoming a regular pastime between them. Minutes passed.

_It was constant._

Alex didn’t say anything, willing to wait out his silence.

_Growing up. Always knew where my brothers were. As a kid, it was something you shared with everyone._

Alex looked at him. He was lying on his side, facing her.

_It was limited. Just short range communication. Kind of like passing notes across the classroom._

The thoughts were so loaded they broke Alex’s heart. Sympathy rolled off her in waves. She tried to be comforting, encouraging. She hoped it was enough.

_As adults… As adults it was more like this._

Alex rolled on her side to face him, their bodies inches apart.

_As adults, it was a mutual bond. It went both ways._

Alex blinked. J’onn bit his lip.

_It was usually confined to marriage._

Her heart was beating so quickly. She tried to nod, tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Tried not to let the baritone of his voice—thoughts—get to her.

This was a mission. He was explaining his history to her.

 _God, Alex!_ J’onn suddenly shuddered.

_What, what is it?_

_Alex…it’s so raw._ His hands went to her waist, clutching her close. He squeezed his eyes shut and brought his head to his chest.  _You’re like a child. No restraints on your thoughts or emotions. No holding back anything._

 _And we’re together._ The realization dawned on her.

_And we’re together._

“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling back from him, embarrassment and disgust and _grief_ coursing through her. “I’m so sorry, J’onn.”

_Whatever for?_

And then his hands were in the small of her back and their bodies were flush against each other.

“Alex,” he murmured, “I just want to know how.” He brought her hand to his face, let her run it over his cheek bones. Let her feel the skin that was smoother and greener than her own, then brought her hand to his lips. He kissed it, so gently.

Alex shuddered.

“It’s time to sleep,” J’onn whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken so long to update this!

Alex woke curled in a ball against J’onn’s chest, his arm slung over her side. He was still asleep, the rise and fall of his chest visible in just a t-shirt and sweats instead of the armor she’d always seen him in.

Alex wished she could just freeze this moment in time, so perfect, peaceful, warm. No words to complicate anything, no battles to be fought. Just J’onn and Alex, asleep in a queen sized bed, a ray of sunshine penetrating the worn blinds and shining on their entangled bodies.

J’onn shifted.

Alex knew it couldn’t stay. There was Kara to fight for. And despite the way they were entangled, she and J’onn still had a lot of talking to do.

But first came the world.

“J’onn,” she murmured, and the Martian opened his eyes. “It’s morning.”

“Right.”

“Let’s talk strategy,” said Alex, determined to keep the day’s affairs professional. There’d be time for questions after they were sure the world wasn’t going to end. Alex sat herself up in bed, pulling the covers with her, and J’onn followed.

“Find Kara,” he said. “Then find the source of the signal. Then we’ll deal with Non.”

“You don’t think they’re going to let us do any of those things without a fight, do you?”

J’onn took a deep breath.

“No. We’ll have to be prepared to fight Non at all times.”

“Yeah,” said Alex, because there wasn’t much more to say. There wasn’t much more you could plan, when it was two against an entire alien army of hostiles. Three, as soon as they found Kara. J’onn rose from the bed and began rummaging through his bag.

“Eat,” he said, tossing her an energy bar. “And then get ready. We’ll leave everything else here.”

Alex nodded and got to her feet, dressed quickly. She loaded her handgun and clipped it in to her belt. All weapons she stored on her person.

They left through the window, the door staying locked. Alex clung tight to J’onn and tried not to cry. Within an hour, the city came into view. Dark and foreboding, pin-drop silent. This was a battle Alex was prepared to die in. She felt his mind reach out to her.

_Ready, Alex?_

She could feel his fear and his anger, a building pain.

_Let’s go._

They dropped to the ground and J’onn became Hank Henshaw. He winced.

 _J’onn._ He didn’t answer. “J’onn, if you have to sacrifice me—“

 _No._ It was final.

And then there was fighting and shooting and fire. There was Alex, trying to pull herself from the ground, still connected to J’onn, feeling terror like lightning as the building erupted into flames. She cried out to him as Indigo reformed.

As she was held above the ground, tears came to her eyes. She watched him fall. Heard Indigo’s laugh. Bit her lip so hard it bled.

But she realized. She was still herself. No Myriad.

_Hold on, Alex. Hold on._

J’onn wasn’t dead. Indigo turned her smile towards Alex, flicked her knife from her belt, had her weapons clatter to the ground.

“Armed to the teeth, but only human,” she sneered.

It wasn’t over yet.

 

 

It wasn’t over when Alex fell to the ground beside Kara, choking back sobs, apologizing, wanting to reach out and touch her sister, still not trusting herself not to hurt her.

It wasn’t over when the Myriad signal was broken, Alex clutching J’onn’s hand tight under the table in hope, _hope_ that this would work, that Kara would save the day with a smile like she’d saved Alex so many times.

It definitely wasn’t over as she watched J’onn and Alex walk out the door. She knew what they weren’t saying to her. Alex had sworn never again, and she almost couldn’t let them leave without her. Didn’t know if there would be a life worth living if they succeeded but she lost them, the two people left that she loved.

So she didn’t let it be over when Kara said goodbye, because J’onn had always said that she was Supergirl’s hero.

 

 

It was over when she met Kara in the lab.

Watched nervously as her sister opened her eyes, sat up on the table. Wanted to pull her into her arms, but everything was still too fresh and open, and so she just smiled. Walked out the door into the control room. Let herself fall into J’onn’s arms, wrapping herself tight around him in front of everybody, celebrating in an open room with all glass and no doors.

“Good job Alex,” he whispered. “Alex.”

The rest of the night was exhaustion and pain meds and celebration. They left the DEO after midnight, went back to Alex’s apartment. They fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been an exhausting day. Every line in the sand had been blurred beyond recognition. They could pick up the pieces, draw new ones, later.

 

“I thought I lost you,” she whispered, pulling him close.

“And I you.”

She brought his hands to her face, looked up at him, questioning, vulnerable. She felt their minds meet.

_Everything is going to be okay, Alex._

_It is. As long as you’re here._

_You don’t need me._

_I want you. And that’s enough._

And who even needed to talk, when there was this shared connection, this overwhelming love, where nothing was hidden and their minds became one? But he still said it, wanting to give her human just as she gave him Martian.

“I love you, Alex.”

_I love you too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is the end. I may come back eventually and work with it, but I know I've left it hanging far too long at this point, so I went ahead and finished it. Hope everyone is okay with it. Thanks for reading! I love you all.


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